why the move?

a few reasons (please ignore the overuse of ellipses, run-on and incomplete sentences or parentheses):

1. creating a handle is hard! when i first created the previous blog and its identifying handle, i put these expectations on myself to write regularly and get back into my story-telling mode.. how else would i become an accomplished writer if i didn't practice? right...well that didn't turn out so well, did it? so here's to a fresh start...but i won't limit myself to what i'll allow myself to write about. with the hours i've been working and with the negative free time i have, i need a space to vent before i go insane!
2. i might start talking about work in vague terms, but i don't want to take the chance at getting dooced.
3. with my impending nuptials, my former nickname won't really apply. i haven't decided if i'll officially change my last name, but i will definitely allow everyone to call me by pork chop's last name. and so my current nickname, jt, by which many of my friends refer to me, will become inaccurate.
4. speaking of impending nuptials and work, i feel like i've entered an alternate universe...one that i never imagined becoming comfortable living in..it's called adulthood. i've become so much more grounded over the years (imagine how flighty i was before!) and i almost don't recognize the person i've become. at the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy, i'm trying to embrace this new person.
5. given all of the above, trying to think of a new handle was difficult. given that i've had all sorts of idiotic and juvenile aol screen names, email handles and instant messenger screen names that have haunted me to this day, i didn't want to be afflicted by anything silly. but how to stay true to my silly nature? then it came to me. and here's the story of how happy roy come into this world (literally)...

those who know me in the real or cyberworld likely realize that my first name is very common for malayalee (the sub-ethnic indian group from which my parents hail) Christian girls. as a child, i always struggled with my inability to "fit in" and yet my desire to be "different." the one area where i didn't experience this ambivalence was with regards to my given name...i hated that i knew so many girls with my name. i didn't feel like i "owned" it. (yes i was a lame child who took little things way too seriously...it comes with the territory of a child who was more comfortable with books and adults than she was with her peers). anyway...so one day, i was bemoaning the fact that i had such a common name to my parents. i inquired as to why they would name me as they did when they knew that there were so many girls older than me with the same name. well their response floored me and shut me up (which you'll come to realize is very difficult to do):

my mother patiently explained that i was named for my great-grandmother. my mother had a very difficult childhood and always experienced a sense of alienation from the rest of her family as a result. my great-grandmother is one of the few relatives she had for whom she felt unadulterated affection and loyalty. ok this answer calmed me a bit. it was when she continued with her explanation that i realized how grateful i should always be to my mother...

when i was born, my dad was so excited at the prospect of having a little girl to spoil silly. he had grand hopes for the type of personality i'd exhibit as an individual and he wanted to imbue that hope in the most obvious way possible -- my name. also, my family did not follow this tradition, but many malayalee children take the "first" name of their fathers as their surnames. so what would my name have been? HAPPY ROY. i kid you not. the irony of this is that despite my social awkwardness as a child, the one thing anyone who came across me would remark on was my effervescent and joyful personality...so while the name would have been rather appropriate, i doubt i would have relished introducing myself and enduring the puzzled reactions i'd see or hear in response.

anyway, happy roy has become my alter ego over the years. and so it only makes sense as i embark on this journey of self-realization (or some such crap...let's be serious, i'll probably talk about nonsense most of the time in this forum), that i embrace the person i would be today (if not for the fact that my mother refused to give me such a silly name, would be).

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this should be obvious given that i'm trying to establish some semblance of anonymity, but if you do know my real name, please don't use it here. if you are aware of my other nicknames that wouldn't divulge my real identity to the powers that be, feel free to use it. yes, i know i'm paranoid. but i'm a lawyer..we're taught to be that way.